Sunday, August 8, 2010

“10 Things I Learned (Or Unlearned) From Having Kids - Huffingtonpost.com” plus 1 more

“10 Things I Learned (Or Unlearned) From Having Kids - Huffingtonpost.com” plus 1 more

10 Things I Learned (Or Unlearned) From Having Kids - Huffingtonpost.com

Posted: 08 Aug 2010 08:18 AM PDT

Having kids is a life-changing experience. For those of you who are about to embark on the wild adventure of parenting, or are thinking about it, here are the top 10 things I've learned (and unlearned) since becoming a father.


1) Sleep? What's that, again?

My first son never slept in our bed with us, but for the first six months of his life I would wake up nearly every night, yanking all the sheets up, having dreamed that somehow he was stuck and suffocating under the covers. Those traumatic nights are past, only to be replaced by uninvited visitors making their way into the room whenever the urge strikes them. Nudge. "Daddy, get up!" Groan.

2) They come with their bags already packed.

I used to think that "nature versus nurture" was pretty evenly split, and that we really could shape our kids, impact them, make all the difference. But now I know better: It's 80/20 (against, by the way), and all we can hope to do is keep them from going to the dark side.

3) The cute factor never wears off.

It just doesn't. Surprisingly. I remember being a single guy and looking at some adorable kids and thinking to myself, "Yeah, that whole 'cute thing' is nice, for a few minutes, but it must wear off pretty quickly." Nope. Never gets old.

4) Velcro sneakers are the solution.

Before becoming a dad, I came from the camp that believed children should learn to tie their own sneakers. And then it became, "Daddy, tie my shoes." "Daddy, my sneakers." "Daddy, help!" And then the next time we were in the shoe store an epiphany struck me.

5) Choose the music you play in the car very wisely.

...because if you can get them into Led Zeppelin or Vampire Weekend and they start saying, "Daddy, play again!" that means over and over. Ad nauseam. For the next couple of months until, in total desperation, you finally yank them off their fix and onto some new decent batch of songs to kill.

6) They are a mirror to me.

And I don't mean just the good stuff. I mean the idiosyncrasies. And it's even lovelier when I hear about them in parent/teacher conferences and I realize that I genetically condemned my child to being unable to have an 'indoor voice' or other unpleasant character tics that I just don't want to get into here.

7) Toilets can be special.

No, I'm not talking about all toilets or urinals, although my boys are certainly fascinated by those. I'm thinking about my three-year-old son's experience with using my mother's bathroom when we were visiting last weekend. Basically, he waltzed into her bathroom and shut the door to go pee. A few moments later he reappeared with a satisfied grin and announced, "I like Nani's special toilet." Confused, I escorted him back into the bathroom where he proudly pointed at the bidet. Special, indeed.

8) Superman can get me into trouble.

My wife and I don't always agree on what we think is appropriate viewing for our kids, but what harm could come from watching "Superman" with Christopher Reeve? Or so I thought. I made sure to skip the traumatic moments in the film: the destruction of Krypton, the death of John Kent, Lois suffocating in her car. I figured we were in the clear until my in-laws came over for dinner one night and my six-year-old son started shouting at the top of his lungs, "What the hell is that??!" Over and over again. Just like what everyone in the film was screaming when Superman showed up to save Lois from the dangling helicopter. I still have bruises from this momentary lapse of judgment.

9) Only 20 percent of the time....

That's the percentage that they actually do what I ask them to do and that's on a good day when they're not overtired, sick or in a bad mood. Then I'm hitting 5 percent. I hate those days, but even still I somehow retain --

10) Amnesia when it comes to Life Before Kids.

Yes, of course I had a Life Before Kids, but being in the thick of battle day in and day out, it's all become a bit fuzzy. Was there really a time that these little monkeys weren't around? It's somewhat hard to contemplate because they are so present in our lives. I certainly can go for a few days or so away from them -- every parent needs that. But a little longer and I think I'd start walking around feeling like my left arm was missing. Or at least my big toe. God, I really love those kids.

(Dana H. Glazer is the award-winning director of the feature-length documentary film, The Evolution of Dad. To learn more about the film, please visit www.evolutionofdad.com.)

 

Five Filters featured article: "Peace Envoy" Blair Gets an Easy Ride in the Independent. Available tools: PDF Newspaper, Full Text RSS, Term Extraction.

"Shoes for Orphan Souls" Needs Your Help - Associated Content

Posted: 08 Aug 2010 06:31 AM PDT

Tennessee's nickname is the "Volunteer State" and that is what people do here, they volunteer their time, money, resources and love. Whether the next door neighbor's barn was destroyed by fire or a child is suffering
"Shoes for Orphan Souls" Needs Your Help Neighborhood: Bradley County
Cleveland, TN 37323
United States of America
 through cancer, people line up to help, to volunteer.

If you have been in Cleveland, Tennessee recently you have probably seen the signs, "Shoes For Orphan Souls" DROP HERE. This is the tenth year this program has been running and helping to get shoes to kids that so desperately need them.

You buy shoes all year long for your kids. Not all kids are that lucky. The program "Shoes For Orphan Souls" will provide shoes and socks to orphans in 70 countries by Christmas time. Since the start of the program 10 years ago, over 2 million pairs of shoes have been donated and shipped. On the downside of that, there are approximately 145 million orphans world-wide and that number goes up daily as you can imagine.

A local Cleveland, Tennessee resident, Keith Gombash, was in Kenya recently and said the kids who did have shoes were wearing ones that were too big or small, the soles worn down to nothing, they didn't match, no shoe laces and basically not doing much good for those little feet. He noted that in the orphanages in under-developed countries 3 to 6 kids share a bed. They very seldom have meat as part of their diet, but they do have rice and beans daily. Gombash's organization, Catch Ministries, is working closely with "Shoes For Orphan Souls" in the Cleveland, Tennessee area to get new shoes and socks for orphans all over the world.

The "Shoes For Orphan Souls" program provides more than a pair of shoes. The kids may also receive a note within their shoes from someone in the United States. Volunteers help the kids put on their new socks and shoes. The kids know and understand that someone thought of them, someone cares.

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